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There are few things in life so strongly tied to our overall happiness as a stable and happy marriage.

In this episode, psychologist Ty Tashiro, Ph D, gives advice and tips on how to use psychological science to find lasting love, showing us that using our heads, and not just our hearts, can lead to our happily ever after.

Not only is it difficult to guess what others will find attractive in us, but we also can’t be sure what we really want in our partners until we meet them. It’s based on research I did for my book , published by Oneworld this week.

Although 21Pictures is a fully functional dating site, it is also a social experiment, since it offers various new approaches that haven’t really been tried before.

It is slow, deliberative and analytical, a product of our (relatively) recently evolved prefrontal cortex; it enables us to make complex computations, and to direct our attention at particular tasks.

System 1, by contrast, is fast, automatic and emotion-led, driven by far older neural circuits; it operates automatically and with little sense of agency. Effective decision-making requires both systems – but sometimes it is better to use one over the other. In the real (offline) world, sussing out a potential partner is – at least in the beginning – indisputably a system 1 activity.

Intuitively building an idea of a person from snapshots of their life – “thin-slicing” as it is known in psychology – is the next best thing when you can’t actually meet them face-to-face. Psychologist Sam Gosling at the University of Texas, who studies how people form impressions of others from cues in their environment, has found that someone’s possessions can teach us more about them than a direct conversation, and more even than what their friends or colleagues might say about them.

Yet in many situations, even in the hard sciences, it is the most useful means of all. The value of intuition is underplayed in many areas of life, nowhere less so than in online dating.I’m Audrey Hamilton and this is “Speaking of Psychology.” Psychologist Ty Tashiro is an author and researcher who studies the psychology of relationships – why some relationships last and others don’t.His work has been published in top-tier academic journals, including the American Psychological Association’s flagship journal, . Audrey Hamilton : We’re often told to follow our hearts when we’re looking for love.The main “intuition hack” on 21Pictures – as you may already have guessed – is to get people to describe themselves in pictures; not just a series of head shots, but pictures from all aspects of their lives.The idea is to make it easier for users to grasp, intuitively, what someone is really like, as they might in the real world; to allow them to use all their social smarts to pick out hints of compatibility and familiarity.

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